Wheel of WE – Seven Steps to a Deeper Belonging


The Wheel of WE is our map and each step builds on the previous ones and opens a new perspective, a new and much more integrated and true way of being in the world.

It’s not necessary to know anything about the ideas to have a deeply rewarding experience of a session. Read on if you want to know more, though it will make more sense if you have practised for a while!

Embraces – We are Living in an Infinite Web of Nested Embraces

The Wheel of WE method is founded on the question ‘Who is Embracing?’. You can read more about how it all started under ‘The Story Behind’.

All Embraces has Concrete Boundaries

So what is an Embrace? In our context, all Embraces have physical, biological or cultural boundaries or combinations of them. It can be the Embrace of a group, a family, an organisation, Humanity, Planet Earth, or the Universe. There are no free-floating Embraces, and there is nothing manifest without an Embrace; they always co-arise.

You have to Belong to the Embrace to Sense it

You can’t rest in or take the perspective of something you are not part of; I am Swedish, so I can’t lean out into the embrace of Denmark but to the Embrace of Scandinavia. We can always find a common wider Embrace.

However, it is possible to guide people from the outside. For example, as a leadership coach, you can guide members of an organisation out into the Embrace of their organisation, or as a therapist, guide a client out into the Embrace of their family. 

2022-04-30 Wheel of WE

7 Steps formed by 3 realms, 2 perspectives and 3 directions

The Wheel of WE method can be viewed as a movement through seven steps formed by three realms, two perspectives and three directions.

  • Three realms – Material, subtle and awareness (causal).
  • Two perspectives – My personal perspective and the perspective as one of my wider Embraces; a collective perspective.
  • Three directions – Inwards, outwards and stillness.

We move through the seven steps during a session, but not always in the numbered order, and not always through all of the steps. It depends on which Embrace we are working with and what the purpose is. 

Below I explain each step, and at the end, I discuss some of the other concepts that have grown out of our practice.

1. I consist of
1. I consist of

1. I consist of – Looking Inwards

We always start the journey focusing on ourselves looking inwards and becoming aware of all the many different parts we are made up of. From particles and atoms, to cells and organs, to language and knowledge. This anchors us in ourselves as manifest beings.

By contemplating the complexity of ourselves and the deep time needed for us to emerge as human beings, we start to change the way we think of ourselves. Becoming aware of all our parts makes us more open to being aware as a part among many parts – the wider me.

2. I'm interconnected
2. I’m interconnected

2. I’m interconnected – Looking Outwards

At the second step on our journey around the Wheel of WE, we move from the separate me to become aware of how we are connected to everything around us. We look at the world and our place in it, using the latest scientific findings and our own experiences.

Our modern scientific world-view is so full of astonishing facts about how deeply interconnected we are. Cosmology, ecology, particle physics, evolutionary biology, DNA sequencing, systems theory, archaeology, palaeontology and much more have opened our eyes to how deeply we belong together with everything around us.

To give these facts time and ponder the implications can be pretty mind-blowing. So already on this concrete level, hints of a more profound and healing perspective often occur. 

The More Knowledge, the More Interconnections

It wasn’t possible to take the perspective as the planet before we knew we lived on one. And with the images of Earth taken from space, it became much easier to Embrace our planetary home. And before we understood evolution, we didn’t know how deeply related we are to all life on Earth.

I find it strange that our modern culture, which has brought forward all this knowledge of belonging, still behaves like we didn’t know. The Wheel of WE is a tool to change this.  

When we realise how every part of me is in a constant flow in time and space, how everything that is me today was something else not long ago. It becomes a deconstruction of the self. When my boundaries have loosened, it’s easier to widen them at the following steps of the process. 

Transcend and Include

We never leave the manifest behind, even when moving into the subtle fields and pure awareness. The concrete foundation is always there; it’s our map and bedrock. The Wheel of WE is about aspects of our everyday world, not an escape road into something ‘spiritual’ or ‘otherworldly’. It’s a path to become deeply present and connected to our lives, here and now.

3. I belong, uncondtionally
3. I belong

3. I belong, unconditionally

Moving to step three, we shift the realm; from the concrete to the subtle, from experiencing the world through interactions and knowledge to a direct experience of the subtle fields that surround us, here and now.

So far, everyone who has given it a try has been able to experience the Embraces – feeling the shift when we become aware of one and the sensation of being held, unconditionally.

The Word ‘Embrace’ is very Precis

The word ‘Embrace’ can initially feel a bit odd, but it is a very accurate description, and it was the question ‘Who is Embracing?’ that started the whole endeavour, so there has not been much of a choice of word.

An Open Exploration Together

It has been an open exploration over the years; someone comes up with an idea: Can I Embrace my cat? Is there an Embrace holding all human women, excluding men? What about the cultural Embrace of the Galaxy? The answers have turned out to be; yes, there is a cultural Embrace of you and your cat; no, men and women are types inside the Embrace of Humanity; yes, something apart from us in the Galaxy seems to have a cultural aspect, though it’s an open question. 

What I find astonishing is the consistency and our consensus around if we find an Embrace or not. It’s a shared experience, and we have deepened our understanding of what constitutes an Embrace bit by bit. 

One Experience Expressed through many Voices

It’s incredible to hear everyone speak when we lean out into an Embrace, expressing the same qualities. It doesn’t matter who speaks; it’s a shared experience, one Embrace expressed through several voices.

Healing through Alignment

When we rest in a wider Embrace, we relax into a healing alignment with that Embrace. We sense the quality and energy of the fields throughout our bodies. Muscles get soft, stomachs start to make noises, and jaws drop. The feeling is very much like during a healing session, deep meditation, or laying in the grass looking at the clouds passing by.

It’s also mentally and existentially healing to feel the deep belonging to everything I’m part of. And to embrace and accept every thought and emotion arising.

Letting go of resistance

Many of us resist being a part of Humanity, the Biosphere, or our Families. When we let go of that tension, we release stuck energy, and we can start to move more freely, in alignment with the whole. 

Shifting State 

The subtle level almost always induces a shift into a more meditative state. It can be tempting to let go and space out a bit. Though, while navigating the Embraces and experiencing what is going on, it’s a good idea to keep a certain level of alertness and keep our feet rooted in the manifest world.

We don’t create the Embraces

We are not inventing, developing or creating the Embraces – we just become aware of them. And as we grow and learn more about the world, we can perceive and process more Embraces and more aspects of them in new and unique ways. 

We-Spaces – One of All our Embraces

Many people are working with and exploring ‘we-spaces’ today. What sets Wheel of WE apart from most of these methods is that we don’t see the Embrace of the Group as something we create. But rather as something present as soon as there is a group of people. We just become aware of the Embrace.

It is also noteworthy that we lean out into the Embrace of the Group and take it as our first-person perspective, see next step. And, of course, we are not limited to ‘we-spaces’; we work with all ‘spaces’ we belong to!

Fuzzy Boundaries

Some Embraces are very well defined; our planet, a group of people gathered together in a room, an ecosystem on an island. What is inside and what is not is relatively clear. Other Embraces have fuzzy boundaries; for example, a species, a family, a mountain, a town. In our experience, it doesn’t matter if the edges are a bit fuzzy as long as the core is well defined. 

Overlapping Embraces 

Different types of Embraces often overlap. We can either work with each type at a time or embrace all aspects together. For example, a company may have both a physical and a cultural aspect, and we can either become aware of each at a time or the Embrace that includes both. 

Sometimes you can bring clarity to an issue by focusing on one type of Embrace at a time. For example, look at your family from its biological Embrace and its cultural Embrace. The two will give you very different insights. 

4. I am
4. I am

4. I am the Embrace – Shifting who I am

When we move from step three to step four, we move from resting in the subtle field of an Embrace, to taking it as our first-person perspective, stepping into the realm of subjectivity / pure awareness.

I take the perspective as the Embrace. I become aware as the Embrace. I am the Embrace. A little smile arrives. It’s just there. I’m not smiling. 

Transcending the Personal

Shifting from being identified as a single human being into being identified as a wider Embrace, is the most significant step in the Wheel of WE process, and what sets it apart from most other methods. Where there was a person, there is now an Embrace. An Embrace is all its parts, including the person I was before. So in one way, this is an individual level, though the “I” is a collective. We transcend and include the personal. 

If you haven’t experienced this shift of identity deliberately, you can’t think your way into an understanding. When I’m not identified as an Embrace, I can only remember it vaguely; ‘knowing about it’, not ‘being it’. 

A Momentary Shift of Perspective

All our wider Embraces are already present, so there is no time needed to create or activate them.

The shift happens in an instant, and either you shift or not. There are no in-between perspectives because there is nothing in-between that can be the basis for the perspective.

It may Take Some Time to Get It

For some people, this is an instant revelation and a natural step. For others, it takes practice; it did for me. At first, it was just a vague intuition of something, a brief shift. Now I can move in and out of my wider Embraces when I want to, though to do it together with others is far easier and delightful. 

Altered States

It can be easier to take an Embrace as my perspective if I’m in a slightly altered state. This is why we start by taking a couple of deep breaths and relaxing our bodies and moving slowly from becoming aware of an Embrace, resting in it, and finally leaning out into it and taking it as our first-person perspective.

All Information in Lower Resolution – Holographic

One way to understand why I, as a part, have access to the whole perspective of a wider Embrace, is to look at holograms. A hologram is distributed information; the information of the whole is present in all its parts, but at a lower resolution. This explains why we can take the perspective of anything of which we are parts. 

Something New – Emergent Levels

An Embrace has its own perspective. It’s not a conglomerate of its parts. Just as I, as a human being, have my perspective, and that perspective is not a coalition of my cells or organs. Each level is an emergent perspective, with its own unique viewpoint, scale and quality.

Guarantee Integrity

The emergent level ensures the integrity and privacy of the parts of an Embrace. I can’t sneak peek into my kidneys life, although it would be interesting. And as the Embrace of the group, I don’t have access to the other member’s thoughts and feelings, if they don’t choose to tell me.

Reduces Complexity

The emergent level also reduces complexity. My biological body is immensely complex, and there is no way I could control even a fraction of the many processes that are going on each second. Me the person is an emergent level. I am dependent on my cells and organs doing their work, but I am not conscious of those processes. Simultaneously, the cells and organs rely on me to feed them and keep them safe but are unlikely to be much aware of what I’m writing here.

A Different Scale for Time and Space

When we take the perspective as a wider Embrace, the timescale and size are very different. A crucial aspect of working with the Embraces is to be open when we interpret what we sense and not anthropomorphize it. 

I can take the perspective as the planet, but my interpretation will inevitably be coloured by my knowledge and background and me being just one part. My processing unit, my human brain, may not recognise any time or space, because they are so vast. I can never know how it is to be the planet. But I can gain deep insights by taking it as my perspective.

You can’t see a Perspective – Perspective Blindness

A perspective can’t be seen; we can only see as it. You can’t see the view itself, only see from it. The seer can’t be seen. This is true both for the perspectives we take as ‘normal’ people, and the perspectives we take during a session. You might remember the view from the mountaintop, but you can’t see from it at the base camp. 

Consciousness and Awareness

We human beings normally operate on a level where awareness, processing capacity, agency, and memory are one, and we call this ‘consciousness’. I see awareness and processing capacity as two very different features. 

Pure awareness, or subjectivity, is everywhere, and it’s a property of all objects and fields. You can’t have an object without subjectivity, or subjectivity without an object. Processing capacity, on the other hand, is something brains have and Embraces don’t have brains. They have no processing capacity the way we have, and they are not conscious in the way we are. 

Insights and Visions

Unexpected insights often occur during a session. They may come in many forms; as visions, emotions or aha-moments. It’s one thing to know about ecology, or that all humans are related, but experiencing the belongingness first-hand is profound. It’s a deepening beyond intellectual knowledge, making it our own. 

You are the Mountain

You may have had similar experiences in settings like playing jazz; you are the music, or doing martial arts; you are one body doing the technique, or meditating; you look at the mountain, and suddenly you are the whole landscape.

5. I'm permeable
5. I’m permeable

5. I am Permeable – Open

– As the Embrace, I’m aware of an even wider Embrace, I am permeable to this Embrace. Open.

Our favourite at the moment is to be the Embrace of Humanity becoming permeable to the Embrace of the Planet. Feels important and very potent, though we can’t know what is actually happening. This is not on the level of human sensemaking.

6. Aligning
6. I’m embodied

6. I’m Embodied – I am my parts, and they are me

– As the Embrace, I am all my parts, and they are me. Embodied.

The impact and alignment of embracing Humanity or the Biosphere are, of course, hard to measure. But we are experiencing ‘coincidences’ many times when we focus on our families or other small groups. Things are effortless sorting themselves out in good ways, and old patterns are released.

7. Unfolding
7. I unfold

7. Unfolding – Through Heart, Mind and Body

– I sense how the Embrace of planet Earth is unfolding through me, and how I am unfolding the Embrace of planet Earth. Around and around.

At the last step, we become aware of the dance of co-creation, sensing how I am lived by all my wider Embraces and how everything I feel, think or do has an impact on everything I’m part of. It’s a powerful and empowering realisation.

I’m working on this part of the presentation in May 2022.

Conditional and Unconditional Relations

The experience of unconditional qualities is one of the most significant and healing aspects of a Wheel of WE session. To rest in the Embrace of the Biosphere, Humanity, or any other Embrace, and feel that I belong, unconditionally, is something I wish everyone on the planet would have access to. It is a homecoming, a reintegration with dimensions of ourselves that we have forgotten.

The Unconditional is the Norm

It took a long time to figure out the source of the unconditional dimension. The key was to realise that unconditional is the norm, and conditional relations are rare exceptions. To relate conditionally, you need to be able to perceive the world, process the information, remember the past and imagine a future. Most things in the Universe don’t have this capacity.

Irrefutable Relations – No Way to be Kicked Out

I can’t change what species I belong to or which galaxy I live in so for me the Embrace of Humanity or the Milky Way are unconditional in the sense that there is no way for me, as a single human being, to leave them. I will live and die inside them.

It’s one thing to know this intellectually, another to rest in the Embrace, and experience the unconditional belongingness first-hand. Or to lean out and be the Embrace, holding all my parts, unconditionally, because they are me.

No Memory or Intention – No Past and Future

Because the Embraces lack processing capacity, they are always only now. Their memory is the present moment and the way their parts are right now. There is no thinking about the future no expectations.

Intentionally Being in the Now – No Judgement

As a human being, I can move into the intellectual position of accepting everything as it is. Focus on this present moment. Being aware right now, letting go of my mental images.

I guess some of us love to meet new people and travel because it propels us into the present with no preconceived images. This may also be why we love activities where we have to be in the present now; like dancing, gaming or climbing.

Love and the Unconditional

At the beginning of the development of the method, we used the term “unconditional love”. But we found that the word “love” has too many connotations, so we skipped it. But the unconditional has a lot in common with what we call “love”.

I love to be loved because I’m special – Conditionally
I love to be loved without being special – Unconditionally

Impact? Worth it?

The impact and alignment of embracing Humanity or the Biosphere are, of course, hard to measure. But we are experiencing ‘coincidences’ many times when we focus on our families or other small groups. Things are effortless sorting themselves out in good ways, and old patterns are released.

It’s also clear that the healing gets much more potent when we do it together. I can heal myself as the Embrace of me, aligning all my parts. But if we do the same from the Embrace of the Group, the healing energies are both of different quality and feels more potent.

No Intention, No Cred

In many healing methods, you set the outcome, the “what”, and leave the “how” to the Universe. During a session, we mostly leave both “what” and “how” to the Embrace. Letting the alignment happen wherever and however, it wants. You can, of course, set an intention before the session, but mostly, something else happens.

When we rest in a wider Embrace and let the alignment happen, it’s impossible to take credit for what is accomplished. We are not doing it; it’s more of a surrender.

Relations – Between, Beyond and Inwards

Our usual way of relating to the world goes something like this: ‘I’m here, and everything else is out there separate from me. The Wider Embraces method unfolds two more ways of relating: as a part to the whole, and as a whole to its parts. 

Interrelational, Transrelational and Introrelational

I call these three ways of relating interrelational, transrelational and introrelational. It’s the best wording I’ve found and they fit well with the Latin origin of the words.

  • Interrelation from the Latin word inter meaning between, as in international.
  • Transrelation from the Latin word trans meaning beyond, as in transcending.
  • Introrelation from the Latin word intro meaning to the inside, as in introvert.

Our languages are not set up for ‘trans-‘ and ‘intro-‘ relations, and it can be a bit strange at first to think along these lines. However, when you start to experience them, they will open up a new way of perceiving the world. Let’s look at these three relations one at a time.

Interrelations – Me and Other

I’m here. 
The world is out there.

Most of us relate to everything in this way, regardless of whether we are separate or actually a part of it. We tend to imagine our friends, family, organisations or country as an ‘it’ out there, an external object separate from us. We also frequently relate to things like our feet or our gut bacteria as separate from ‘me’, the person who ‘has’ them.

I relate in the same way to Denmark and Sweden even though I am Swedish and not Danish; both are conceptual abstractions in my mind, and I treat them as ‘its’ out there. However, I’m inside Sweden and outside Denmark. Our language and habitual sense of self are set up to support this illusory separation.

We see Nature as Separate from Us

Our relation to the Biosphere is the most significant example of this illusory separation. We call it ‘nature’ and talk about it as something separate from us. We, the humans, are here, and nature is over there. When in fact we are all part of the Biosphere. We are in it and from it, completely immersed, yet we hold it off conceptually as if we were separate.

Relating to a ‘You’ or a ‘We’

Our relations to a ‘You’ or to a ‘We’ are also often experienced as separate, as interrelations, although they have a more intimate quality, and they can act as a bridge to a transrelation.

Transrelations – Me to the Whole

I become aware of the Embrace 
I sense it, I rest in it

Transrelations are our relations to everything we belong to, to our wider Embraces. We experience ourselves as fully embedded. Belonging to everything we are part of. This is a relaxing and healing relationship.

Introrelations – Me to My Parts

I am my parts and they are me, embodied. 

Introrelations are the relations Embraces have to their parts. Embracing all its parts, unconditionally. This is where the Wheel of WE method takes it one step further, and it is where everyday language lack words to describe the experience.

I’m a part of me

In a transrelation, me to the wider, I am still a person. Moving into the introrelational, I shift my first-person perspective and become the Embrace, shifting from the person I was to a wider me. From this perspective, I relate to all my parts, including the person taking the perspective. I experience the entire Embrace as me, and the person I was, is no longer central to the experience. The ‘me’ is just one part amongst all the other parts which I am, as one.

Trans-Introrelations – Always Both Ways

If there is a transrelation, there is an introrelation. It’s one relation with two directions; from the parts to the whole and from the whole to its parts. We call this a trans-introrelation.

If you have been to a jazz club and listened to a group improvising, you’ve probably seen a trans-introrelation in action; music being played by the group, with individual flavours but not by separate musicians. Each member is simultaneously experiencing and expressing themselves as the whole, and as the part making a unique contribution. The same if you have been training a martial art on a higher level; you and your partner moving as one.

Stillness – No Relation

Being nowhere and everywhere
Being no one and everyone

So far we’ve been talking about relations with a direction; sideways, outwards or inwards. In the Stillness, you have no direction, only here and now — pure being.

In stillness, there is not even a relation to myself, so it doesn’t matter from what perspective I enter into Stillness. There is no difference between being still as this human being, or as the Embrace of the Universe. They are just as vast and intimate because there is nothing there to compare with, no relations.

Sometimes Stillness can be confused with one of the wider Embraces, especially the larger physical, because the timescale and size are so vast, they seem to be still. So the quality can be experienced as very much the same, but they differ when it comes to insights and alignment.

Stillness is a bridge, a place where everything coincides. Now.

All Relations at Once

We always “relate” in all directions, including stillness. But we can only be aware of one at a time.

I act in the world aware of a wider Embrace, as a part among parts, serving the whole.

Living an Embraced Life

It’s often hard to remember and implement the insights I get during a session because they are outside my personal, everyday perspective. The ‘normal me’ has difficulties getting the point and therefore forgetting.

I’m becoming more and more fluent in becoming aware of the Embrace of the group during any meeting. I make a quick shift from being a separate person, interacting with other separate people, to being one member inside an Embrace with interacting parts. It’s a sweet spot, and it often changes my emotions and how I interact for the better. Sometimes it changes the whole meeting.

An Aligned Future on Planet Earth

The only sustainable way forward I can see is one where we humans are aware of the Embraces of Planet Earth, aware that we are a part of life on Earth. Aware as Life on Earth.